Men’s Mental Health: Why Men Must Cry, Speak, and Heal for Better Well-being

Abstract

Men’s mental health is a deeply neglected and often misunderstood area in global healthcare discourse. Cultural norms, societal expectations, and biological factors create a dangerous silence among men, leading to underdiagnosed depression, untreated anxiety, and tragically high suicide rates. This paper explores the pathophysiology of mental health disorders in men, examines the cultural stigma around emotional expression, and advocates for a transformative approach to mental wellness: encouraging men to cry, talk, and seek help openly. Real-life examples and case studies from across the world, particularly Africa, highlight the urgency and benefits of reshaping the narrative around masculinity and mental health. Additionally, this expanded edition delves deeper into global mental health disparities, gender dynamics in healthcare accessibility, the impact of urbanisation and economic stress, as well as suggestions for community-driven interventions.

Keywords: Men’s Mental Health, Depression, Anxiety, Suicide, Masculinity, Stigma, Emotional Expression, Pathophysiology, African Mental Health, Mental Health Advocacy, Psychosocial Support

Introduction

“Be a man!”

This phrase, though brief, carries the weight of generations. Around the world, boys and men are taught to hide their tears, mask their emotions, and wear stoicism like armour. In many African cultures, as in others across the globe, vulnerability is seen as weakness, and strength is equated with silence. But what if we told men that crying is healthy, that emotional expression is a form of strength, and that being open is a path to healing? This paper takes a bold yet much-needed look into why men must dismantle these outdated norms for the sake of their mental health.

Emotional suppression in men does not only cause internal suffering, but also external dysfunctions. Relationships, parenting, productivity at work, and even physical health can suffer when men bottle up stress. Heart disease, hypertension, insomnia, substance dependency—these all have links to chronic emotional suppression. This creates a silent crisis that healthcare systems across continents have failed to address adequately.

The Global State of Men’s Mental Health

According to the World Health Organization (2022), men die by suicide at twice the rate of women globally. While women are more likely to be diagnosed with depression, men are less likely to seek help, leading to underreporting and undertreatment. The economic burden of untreated mental illness is staggering: lost productivity, increased absenteeism, and escalating healthcare costs.

In African countries, the situation is even more acute due to cultural taboos, lack of mental health infrastructure, poverty-related stressors, and political instability. Men in rural areas, especially those who engage in manual labor or agricultural work, often have no access to mental health professionals. Mental illness is frequently attributed to spiritual causes or witchcraft, delaying or entirely preventing clinical treatment.

Real-Life Scenario: A Ghanaian Father’s Silent Struggle

Kwame, a 45-year-old farmer from Ghana, lost his son in a road accident. Expected to be the rock for his family, Kwame did not grieve publicly. He resumed work immediately, buried his emotions, and began drinking to cope. Months later, he attempted suicide. It was only after intervention from a local NGO that he received therapy. His story is not unique. It mirrors that of millions of African men who are told to “keep it together” no matter what.

Similarly, in Ethiopia, a schoolteacher named Tesfaye became clinically depressed following a divorce. Because he believed mental health was a foreign concept, he relied on church prayers and traditional medicine until his condition worsened into psychosis. By the time he received psychiatric care, years had passed, and his condition had severely impacted his livelihood and social relationships.

Understanding the Pathophysiology of Depression and Anxiety in Men

Mental illness is not just “in the head”; it has physical underpinnings. Depression is associated with imbalances in neurotransmitters such as serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine. Chronic stress alters the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, leading to elevated cortisol levels, which in turn can impair brain function and immune response (Miller & Raison, 2016).

Men may experience these imbalances differently due to testosterone’s modulating effect on the brain. Research by Bale and Epperson (2017) shows that men are more prone to exhibit externalising symptoms like aggression, irritability, and substance abuse rather than the sadness and withdrawal often observed in women. This difference often causes misdiagnosis or missed diagnosis.

Moreover, prolonged exposure to stress and trauma can lead to structural changes in the brain, particularly in the hippocampus and prefrontal cortex, which are responsible for mood regulation and executive function. When these areas are impaired, decision-making, impulse control, and empathy diminish. This could explain why some men react violently when emotionally overwhelmed instead of breaking down in tears.

Neuroinflammation also plays a role. Emerging studies suggest that inflammation in the brain, triggered by stress or chronic disease, can exacerbate symptoms of depression and anxiety (Miller & Raison, 2016). Poor diets, sedentary lifestyles, and alcohol abuse, more common in distressed men, further compound this effect.

Why Men Don’t Seek Help: The Cultural Cage

1. Toxic Masculinity: The idea that men must be dominant, self-reliant, and emotionally inexpressive.
2. Social Expectations: Many African men believe their role is to provide and protect, not to feel.
3. Healthcare Barriers: Mental health services are scarce, especially in rural areas.
4. Fear of Stigma: Seeking help is seen as weakness.
5. Lack of Representation: Most mental health campaigns are not gender-sensitive and fail to resonate with men.

Example: Nigerian Youth and Peer Pressure

In Lagos, young men like Tunde are taught early to “harden up.” Crying is laughed at. Therapy is mocked. Tunde’s friend died by suicide at age 19. Tunde now volunteers to speak to teenage boys about emotions, saying, “If we had talked more, he might still be alive.”

In Kenya, a group called “Boys to Men” runs emotional literacy workshops in high schools. They teach boys how to name their emotions and communicate them. One facilitator said, “We are trying to undo decades of silence with one session at a time.”

The Power of Crying and Emotional Expression

Crying is not a sign of weakness; it is a natural stress reliever. Tears contain stress hormones and can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps us calm down (Vingerhoets, 2013). Emotional expression, whether through speech, writing, or movement, releases pent-up feelings and improves mood regulation.

It is crucial to recognise that different cultures express emotions differently. In some African societies, music and dance are powerful mediums for emotional release. Traditional drumming circles or communal singing are therapeutic and culturally acceptable forms of catharsis. Encouraging men to engage in such culturally relevant practices can be a non-threatening way to promote emotional openness.

Case Study: South African Men’s Therapy Group

In Johannesburg, a pilot therapy group for men allows members to cry openly. One participant said, “I cried for the first time in 20 years. I felt like I removed a stone from my chest.” The group uses storytelling and communal feedback to create trust. According to the group facilitator, 80% of members report decreased depressive symptoms after six months.

In Uganda, a radio program called “Men and Emotions” invites listeners to call in and share their struggles anonymously. Over 1,000 calls were received in the first three months. The host, a trained psychologist, guides callers toward professional resources while normalising open dialogue.

Rewriting the Narrative: How to Support Men’s Mental Health

1. Community Education: Normalize therapy and emotional talk in schools, churches, mosques.
2. Train Healthcare Workers: Help them recognise atypical symptoms of depression in men.
3. Support Groups for Men: Create safe, stigma-free spaces for emotional expression.
4. Policy Advocacy: Push for mental health inclusion in primary care, especially in African countries.
5. Use Media Wisely: Promote stories of men who sought help and recovered.
6. Engage Role Models: Influential men in society should openly talk about their mental health struggles.
7. Mobile Health (mHealth) Tools: Use mobile apps to provide anonymous support in low-resource settings.

International Success Story: UK’s “Time to Change” Campaign

In the UK, this anti-stigma campaign has led to a 9.6% improvement in public attitudes towards mental illness in men over 10 years (Evans-Lacko et al., 2013). Adaptations of this model in African contexts have shown promise.

For example, in Sierra Leone, a local campaign titled “Real Men Talk” was launched by community radio stations and involved local chiefs, youth leaders, and pastors. The campaign recorded increased clinic attendance by men within its first year of implementation.

Conclusion

Men’s mental health deserves attention, compassion, and cultural shift. We must tear down the barriers that keep our fathers, brothers, sons, and friends locked in silence. Whether you choose to man-up and speak out or be a woman and cry loud—do it for your mind, your heart, and your life.

Let men cry, let them talk, and let them heal. Healing is not just a personal journey; it is a community responsibility. Every village, city, and country has a role to play in creating safe emotional spaces for men.

References

Bale, T. L., & Epperson, C. N. (2017). Sex differences and stress across the lifespan. Nature Neuroscience, 20(2), 168–174. https://doi.org/10.1038/nn.4475

Evans-Lacko, S., Corker, E., Williams, P., Henderson, C., & Thornicroft, G. (2013). Effect of the Time to Change anti-stigma campaign on trends in mental-illness-related public stigma among the English population in 2003–13: an analysis of survey data. The Lancet Psychiatry, 1(2), 121-128.

Miller, A. H., & Raison, C. L. (2016). The role of inflammation in depression: from evolutionary imperative to modern treatment target. Nature Reviews Immunology, 16(1), 22-34. https://doi.org/10.1038/nri.2015.5

Vingerhoets, A. J. (2013). Why only humans weep: Unravelling the mysteries of tears. Oxford University Press.

World Health Organization. (2022). Suicide worldwide in 2022: Global health estimates. https://www.who.int/publications/i/item/9789240026643