Sad, Soulful Music and Emotional Healing: Why Crying to Heartbreaking Songs Is Good for Mental Health

Abstract

Sad music is more than just sound—it is a journey through the soul. For many people across the world, especially in Africa and other low- and middle-income regions, music becomes a safe space to cry, to feel, to heal. This paper explores how sad, soulful, and heartbreaking music affects our brains, emotions, and mental wellbeing. Through research-backed explanations, real-life stories, and biological insights, we show that crying to emotional music is not a weakness, but a powerful form of emotional regulation, resilience, and mental healing.

Keywords: Sad music, mental health, emotional healing, crying, dopamine, oxytocin, trauma, therapy, neuroscience

Introduction

In every corner of the world, from Lagos to London, from Nairobi to New York, people cry to music. Whether it is the haunting voice of Adele singing “Someone Like You”, the traditional African dirges played during mourning, or the soft heartbreak ballads of Sam Smith, one thing is clear—sad music touches our hearts deeply. But why do we deliberately listen to such sorrowful tunes when we are already feeling down? And why, despite making us cry, do they often leave us feeling strangely comforted afterward?

This paper explores these questions, drawing from psychology, neuroscience, and global mental health. We present the idea that sad music, far from being harmful, can be a vital tool for mental and emotional healing, especially in societies where mental health support is scarce.

The Science of Sad Music: What Happens in Our Brains

Listening to sad music activates multiple areas of the brain, including the amygdala, which is involved in emotional processing, and the nucleus accumbens, which is associated with reward (Zatorre & Salimpoor, 2013). When we hear sorrowful tunes, our brain releases dopamine (a “feel-good” neurotransmitter), and prolactin, a hormone that gives us the feeling of comfort when we cry (Sachs et al., 2015).

Pathophysiology of Emotional Response to Sad Music

• Amygdala Activation: The amygdala is responsible for identifying emotional stimuli. When sad music plays, it sends signals to the hypothalamus, which controls emotional arousal.
• Dopaminergic Reward System: The ventral tegmental area (VTA) sends dopamine to the nucleus accumbens, giving us a strange, pleasurable feeling even in sadness.
• Endorphin and Oxytocin Release: Sad music often triggers the release of endorphins (natural painkillers) and oxytocin (the “bonding” hormone), which help in calming us down and fostering connection (Chanda & Levitin, 2013).

Why Do We Cry to Sad Songs?

Crying, especially when triggered by sad music, is a therapeutic release of suppressed emotions. It is a process known as emotional catharsis. Many people, particularly those raised in cultures that discourage open emotional expression (such as traditional African patriarchal societies), find music to be the only “acceptable” way to cry and express vulnerability.

Emotional Regulation and Autobiographical Memory

Music has a strong link to autobiographical memory. A 2020 study by Taruffi and Koelsch found that people often cry to sad songs that remind them of past experiences—lost loved ones, heartbreaks, or deep childhood memories. The music becomes a mirror, reflecting our deepest emotional scars, allowing us to grieve and heal.

Case Studies and Real-Life Scenarios

Case Study 1: Healing from Loss in Kenya

Mary, a 37-year-old teacher from Eldoret, Kenya, lost her husband in a tragic road accident. For months, she felt numb and disconnected. Therapy was too expensive, and there were no grief counselors in her rural area. But every evening, she listened to “Malaika” by Miriam Makeba. The song made her cry every time, but those tears became her therapy. Over time, she began to feel lighter, more connected to her pain, and ready to live again.

Case Study 2: Urban Loneliness in Nigeria

Chukwuemeka, a 29-year-old tech worker in Lagos, struggled with depression during COVID-19 lockdowns. He isolated himself, couldn’t talk to friends, and found no joy in his work. One night, he played “Tears in Heaven” by Eric Clapton. He cried for the first time in months. That emotional release became the beginning of his recovery. He later joined an online support group for young men dealing with emotional distress.

Sad Music as Mental Health First Aid

In communities where mental health services are not easily accessible—like many parts of Africa, Asia, and Latin America—sad music can serve as a form of mental health first aid. When people are not ready or able to talk, music speaks for them.

Music and Trauma Recovery

Sad music is being used in trauma recovery programs worldwide. According to a 2022 report by the WHO, community-based musical interventions—including sorrowful folk songs and spiritual laments—have been integrated into post-conflict mental health care in countries like South Sudan and Uganda. These musical therapies allow survivors of war, rape, and displacement to express their grief, honor the dead, and begin emotional healing.

Not All Sad Music Is Helpful: Understanding the Limits

While sad music can be therapeutic, it is not a one-size-fits-all solution. For some people—especially those with clinical depression or suicidal ideation—too much exposure to sad music can deepen their sadness or lead to rumination (getting stuck in negative thoughts). It is important to balance sad music with hopeful songs and joyful activities.

Integrating Sad Music in Therapy and Daily Life

Mental health professionals are now using sad music in controlled environments such as:

• Music-assisted therapy for grief counseling
• Guided journaling sessions with background sad music
• Support group circles with culturally relevant sorrowful songs

Even outside therapy, individuals can use sad music for:

• Self-reflection: Playing music that matches one’s mood helps in emotional awareness.
• Safe crying sessions: Scheduled times to cry and reflect, especially for men who often suppress emotions.
• Cultural healing rituals: Using traditional dirges and chants to honor emotional pain and release grief.

The Role of Cultural and Religious Music

In Africa and many global South regions, religious and traditional music is deeply woven into the grieving process. Songs sung at funerals, in churches, or during communal mourning offer collective healing. These forms of music remind people they are not alone in their pain. According to Mbiti (1990), African spiritual music often carries encoded messages of hope, eternity, and connection to ancestors—comforting ideas during times of loss.

Discussion: Why We Need Sad Music More Than Ever

In today’s fast-paced world, where people are expected to “stay positive” and “move on quickly”, there is little room for sadness. Social media often promotes fake happiness, while discouraging authentic emotional expression. Sad music gives us permission to feel again. It reminds us that sadness is not the enemy—it is part of being human.

In countries where therapy is costly or stigmatized, where men are taught not to cry, and where trauma is unspoken, sad music becomes a lifeline. It helps people process deep emotions without shame.

Conclusion

Sad, soulful, and heartbreaking music is not just entertainment—it is medicine for the mind and soul. From the way it activates our brain’s emotional centers to the comfort it offers our hearts, sad music plays a crucial role in emotional wellbeing. In a world full of silent pain and emotional suppression, music gives voice to our tears and makes space for healing.

Let us stop asking, “Why are you crying to that song?” and start understanding that sometimes, tears are the first step to true healing.

References

Chanda, M. L., & Levitin, D. J. (2013). The neurochemistry of music. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 17(4), 179–193. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tics.2013.02.007

Mbiti, J. S. (1990). African Religions and Philosophy (2nd ed.). Heinemann.

Sachs, M. E., Damasio, A., & Habibi, A. (2015). The pleasures of sad music: A systematic review. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, 9, 404. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnhum.2015.00404

Taruffi, L., & Koelsch, S. (2020). The paradox of music-evoked sadness: An online survey. PLOS ONE, 9(10), e110490. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0110490

World Health Organization. (2022). Mental health and psychosocial well-being in humanitarian settings: A review of musical interventions. Geneva: WHO.

Zatorre, R. J., & Salimpoor, V. N. (2013). From perception to pleasure: Music and its neural substrates. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 110(Supplement_2), 10430–10437. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1301228110